Evil. Joy.

Library Love Letters - Printing

2012-02-07T19:49:00.004-05:00

Dear Lady-Who-Does-Not-Know-the-Meaning-of-Black-and-White,

When you ask if we have a color printer and I say, "No, we only have a black and white printer," that means we only have a black and white printer. Asking again in a different phrasing such as "So these pictures won't print in color?" not only won't change the outcome of your question, but also requires me to repeat myself and presume you're an idiot. Are you paranoid enough to think that I'm lying to you about having a color printer? Seriously, we only print in black and white. Essentially, this means that although your pictures are in color on the computer screen, they will appear in black and white when they print on paper. As much as I love explaining the nuances of the printing process, I'd love it more if you believe me when I said the first time, our printer only prints in black and white.

Sincerely,

Pretending-To-Be-a-Librarian

Library Love Letters

2012-02-03T12:01:00.000-05:00

Dear Lady-Who-Wants-To-Rant-and-Complain-About-How-Much-of-a-Hurry-You're-In,

I've told you twice now that here in the library, you get on the internet by signing on with your library card number. To get a card, you have to fill out an application that literally consists of your name, birthdate, address, and phone number. Yet, I'm still fielding questions about the how long the application is, and what the process is to get a card, all the while hearing about what a hurry you're in. Seriously, if you had just done what I told you to do in the first place, you'd be finished. Complaining about something does not make it my problem, nor does it give me the ability to change the process. If you're in such a hurry, shut your trap and do what you have to do!

Sincerely,
Pretending-To-Be-a-Librarian

With this blog...

2011-09-19T22:45:00.000-04:00

I really have trouble blogging the mundane events of my so-called life. I could try to think of funny (or sad. Really really sad) stories that happen during my day, but everything would boil down to either how much I dislike my field of work, or how much I dislike the people I encounter working said field.

That said, I'm going to attempt to blog a little more frequently. I think I'd rather stick to the funny (I always say that I have to laugh, otherwise I'd cry) but we'll see how that goes. Maybe another iteration of my blog filled with the literary wrath of my fiery hatred awaits.

Otherwise I will stick to making lists of shit if that doesn't work out. :)

Joy likes cosmetics.

2011-09-13T20:44:00.006-04:00

That is what Chris has been saying for the past week, all thoughout our glorious 3-day weekend, also while he ordered a Target giftcard with his rewards points from his bank card. Joy likes cosmetics. Joy can buy cosmetics with the giftcard. :-) This stems from me dragging Chris around the county trying to find a limited edition nail polish at a drug store that was never in stock. Also from numerous trips to Sephora, making the back of my hands look like glittery rainbows with color swatches, and asking "What about this one? This one? Which one's better?"

Anyway, I was looking at organization blogs (who doesn't?) and I found one that included a picture of a girl's makeup drawer and her lovely collection of Chanel products, which triggered a memory of dragging my mom around the state (Delaware - we had like, two malls, for serious) when I was younger, looking for a limited edition Chanel eye gloss that I needed, but was also never in stock. So really, I've been dragging people around looking for cosmetics for years! Story of my life!

I miss:

2011-09-07T16:16:00.006-04:00

my parents. :-(

Not to get all gooshy or anything, but I love them! I moved away when I got to college, and now I still live really far away from them. I'm an only child and a military brat, so I essentially grew up with Bob and Abbey as my best friends. My parents were young enough to be hip, but old enough to know how to raise kid. Even as an "adult," my parents are way cooler than all my friends parents. I know people with really (really) crazy parents. I know people who don't even like their parents. I love mine and miss them and wouldn't trade them for any other parents in the world. Even rich ones that could buy me lots of useless crap. Yep, it's that serious.

"Crap" Restaurant Names [LIST]

2011-08-31T20:21:00.004-04:00

CRAPplebees

CRAPspers (Crispers)

aCRAPolis (Acropolis)

CRAPabbas (Carrabbas)

CRAP Outback

CRAP (Moe's)

My Top Five [LIST]

2011-08-06T12:40:00.012-04:00

So Chris and I play a little game called "Top Five" aka Freebies (or whatever, we certainly didn't invent this); essentially it is the list of celebrities that, if given the chance, you can have a fling with without any infidelity rules applied. Awesome! So here's mine:

Jesse Lacey

Jason Segel

Jared Leto

Matthew Lewis (who fought with Jackson Rathbone for this spot)

Matthew Gray Gubler (but he'd have to act like Dr. Spencer Reid LOL)

Maybe I should find more J names!

I reserve the right to update this at any time. :-D

Sh!t I want to do before I DIE [LIST]:

2011-08-04T00:01:00.006-04:00

Go on a hot air balloon ride (8/4/11)
Go skydiving
Road trip the 48 contiguous states
See the rainforest
Go horseback riding
See the Hawaiian volcanoes
Learn to surf
See the glaciers
Visit Australia & New Zealand :-)
See the Northern Lights (2/3/12)

More later!

10 Things You'd Probably Know About Me If You Paid Any Damn Attention At ALL:

2011-07-07T01:24:00.003-04:00

I LOVE Jason Segel. I want to marry him and have his hilarious tall puppet babies.
I HATE talking on the phone. This may stem from working as a telemarketer and in a call center, but whatever. I'd rather communicate in person, via text, email, status message, video conference, smoke signals, sky writing, whatever.
I LOVE Harry Potter and I am pretty much going to bawl through this whole last movie. Pretty much.
I (secretly) am obsessed with Twilight and am embarrassed that it (might be) [is] (one of) my favorite movie(s). D-:
I'm an accidental librarian. I don't know how it happened, or if it will unhappen or whatnot. It is what it is.
I like pink shit. I tried to deny it for a really long time, but I like pink. It's my fave. There's nothing wrong with it.
When I was little, I really wanted to be blonde. My grandpa told a lot of blonde jokes, but it didn't help. As soon as I could stand the bleach, I took it to my head and went for it. I don't know if blondes have MORE fun, but they do have fun.
I love DIY home improvement stuff. If I had a lot of money, I would probably renovate my whole house and after enjoying it for a little while, move to a new house to renovate.
Sometimes I play dumb so I don't have to do shit in my free time like fix people's computers.
I share a birthday with Jesse Lacey, who I also LOVE.

iNeed

2011-06-22T15:29:00.004-04:00

tangible, concrete accomplishments. Results. I think that's why I was drawn to doing something creative or meaningful, where efficacy is not a conceptualized theory, but actually a finished product.

When I grow up... [LIST]

2011-06-11T00:57:00.000-04:00

What I wanted to be when I grew up.

Doctor
Fighter Jet Pilot
Country Music Star
Tap Dancer
Pop Star
Marine Biologist
Veterinarian
Novelist
Journalist
Stylist
SNL Comedian
Marine Mammal Scientist
Psychologist
Musician
Environmental Scientist
Sex Columnist
Graphic Artist
Web Designer
Marketing Director
Happy.

Sh!t I collect [LIST]

2011-06-10T02:11:00.008-04:00

No seriously, I collect this shit:

Pencils
Postage Stamps
Rubber Stamps
Vinyl Records
Band Autographs
Nail Polish
Snow Globes
Bookmarks
Sea-Creature Figurines
Keychains
Buttons
Buddhas
Wigs

Shit I have too many of and have consolidated into a collective group:

Stuffed Animals
Books
CDs
Clothes
Chuck Taylors
Purses/Hand Bags
Cats
Pink and/or Hello Kitty Crap
Thumb tacks
Magazines with Angelina Jolie covers
Tools (power, or otherwise)

When I was eight

2011-03-11T14:59:00.002-05:00

I wanted to be the first Asian country music star.

Thinking...

2011-03-10T19:37:00.002-05:00

Organize, organize, ORGanize, ORGANIZE! BLAH! *_*

Nail Polish LOVE

2011-03-05T17:36:00.004-05:00

I remember when I started getting too old to have Tupperware containers full of crayons. My dad said as soon as I figured out what nail polish was, I started filling Tupperwares full of nail polish. :-) I fell out of love with nail polish for a while... Just not enough time, a waning interest, not inspired, etc. I even purged most of my collection, keeping just my favorites, but still not really using much of them. I've been on the MakeupAlley website doing some swaps with people and they have a Nail Board and I think I've rekindled my love affair with nail polish!

Jobs I would rather have [LIST]

2011-01-18T15:40:00.002-05:00

Butterfly farmer
Autopsy assistant
Phlebotomist
Headphones tester

Toy Story (Irrational Thoughts)

2011-01-13T17:32:00.002-05:00

I get so sad when I watch Toy Story (or see pics) because of all the toys that got tossed/donated/altogether abandoned by me over the years. Sometimes I remember a stuffed animal and I look for it only to remember that it's long gone.

My Pet Peeves [LIST]

2011-01-13T13:05:00.004-05:00

People who talk over/interrupt you.
When I have to repeat myself.
Obnoxious cell phone users.
Obnoxious babies/children.
People who wave, psst, or talk across a room to get your attention when they have a question.
People who can't read/listen to directions.
DUMB people

Favorite "Friends" Scenes [LIST]

2011-01-10T23:30:00.005-05:00

Phoebe and Chandler singing Lionel Richie's "Endless Love"
Joey puts on all of Chandler's clothes. "Could I BE any more Chandler?"
All flashbacks, esp. Fat Monica ones
When Rachel finds out that Ross was going to be her prom date when she got stood up.
When Ross buys Phoebe a bike and he is trying to persuade her to ride it.

Favorite Books from Childhood [LIST]

2011-01-10T00:57:00.003-05:00

... which have shaped my "adult" life (compiled in some semblance of chronological order):

The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein
Island of the Blue Dolphins by Scott O'Dell
Face on the Milk Carton (Janie Johnson series) by Caroline B. Cooney
Soulmate and Witchlight by L. J. Smith
The Forbidden Game by L.J. Smith
Sabriel by Garth Nix
Biting the Sun by Tanith Lee

Harry Potter by J. K. Rowling

To be cont...

Murtaugh List [LIST]

2011-01-06T21:33:00.005-05:00

Top 7 inspired by HIMYM

I'm too old for this shit!

Pull an all-nighter
Eat an entire pizza in one sitting
Hang posters on the wall without frames
Get piercings
Crash on a futon
Take shots/chug beer
Go "clubbing"
Cut my own hair to save money (1/7/11)

Shit to do around the house. [LIST]

2011-01-06T21:00:00.006-05:00

1/6/11

Flooring (Vinyl tile/carpet)

Cabinets

Appliances (stove/range microwave/refrigerator)

Finish closets

Finish spare room ceiling

Front/storm door

Paint

Shit I want to do this year. [LIST]

2011-01-03T00:20:00.008-05:00

In no particular order
(1/3/11)

The Wizarding World of Harry Potter

Record videos.

Take more pictures.

Stop eating. LOSE WEIGHT.

Have more fun/be more positive.

Rule #32: Enjoy the little things.

Work on my website.

Make more art.

Learn more songs on guitar! (1/6/11)

Will continue later.

This...

2011-01-03T00:13:00.000-05:00

is gonna be a good year.